Internet dating

People

• Need biological feedback
• Our systems are highly honed for selecting
• People lie about themselves
• Sex and love designed to keep human race going (both are tricky via the Internet)
• Suits shy people, is that what a partner wants?
  • Usually confidence  (the opposite)

Technological factors

• Do we know how to use tech to find a partner?
• Is an image a good indicator
  • Smell, dress, generosity, humour only really established “live”

Interface between people and tech

• People project something nicer
• Not very attractive to say, “I’m lonely, have no friends” (social circles so resort to Internet)
• The pleasure of checking “everything” in advance ruins the real meeting
  • xmas presents are wrapped for a reason
  • Desconstruction leads to a reason not to be with a person
    • Looking for a reason to dismiss them online (not chance it)

Incentives for “providers” to lie

• Dating sites get money by getting people to sign up / hitch etc.
• The reality is not “exciting” I am bored, depressed, unemployed etc.
• Expectations build to “more” than one is expecting (we are optimists and like to “dream” positively)
• People successful in real life, probably on Internet too
• Neil Strauss “The game”

Lost cause?

• Not necessarily, but go for physical first