Sweden

Work mentality

Don’t put boxes around things, and assume you understand, get down to the details… Work harder!

Stockholm by night (mest singlar i Europa)

Ladies ladies ladies!
where are all the men? at home on the playstation
Ladies are out socialising

20 years of solitude (or how to be happy in Stockholm)

Preface.

Honestly, I’d prefer not to write this. But bear with me, if you have lived in Sweden, particularly Stockholm, plan to move here, plan to get away or intend to stick it out, or wish you never had, and want a laugh. Now, move to next paragraph disclaimer.

I can’t give you the time back for reading this nonsense, but you might not get anything back if you don’t, think of it as an exercise in bad writing, you might just miss a wife / husband (chapter 10) If you don’t like reading anecdotes, funny stories, then please stop here, and accept defeat, its easier if you want a giggle, carry on (with caution it might just be worth it.

Local warning: If this upsets you (we know you don’t like criticism) then bad luck. Transform the society by offering friendship, hospitality, words, time, parties. Alternatively, write your own book about us whinging foreigners.

NME article about Swedes. pretend to be non-Swede (ideally English speaking). Pretend to be other nationality.

Meeting

Give me, more, more, more …

Talk to a Swede :you are helping them, as they have no friends
Snowman waving
The core values: stingy (time, money, help)
- You have to invest to get something

Housing

“It’s not me, it’s you, no wait, it’s not you, it is US”

Nice floor

Near neighbours, but so far (apart)

In work work

Trouble in paradise

Transport

Bottling rattling around

Arlanda to the rescue

Am I just being cynical, well, on the fast train to the airport there was an advertisement, “Stockholm, the most singles in Europe” much fun to be had, but perhaps the sociology is ‘we can’t make friends’ or ‘we can’t keep them’

Ro-mania

Surely its not that bad? What about all the top 5’s Sweden’s in? Like Eurovision.

Is it that hard? Friends with no friends : B***t, H*****k, Fredrik

Pub mates, fuck off I’m Pakistani
Dodgy blondes
Put the CDs down,

Work ethic

Don’t really want to work? Work in Sweden: turn up late, excuse yourself, fika, lunch, fika, then go to the gym

Home

“Jag måste hem” (gotta go) “But you are single!!”, I have matlåda, tvättstugen,

But I meet loads of Swedes travelling: me too 5 years in Asia, but all disappeared in Sweden (see home)

Possibilities

It’s easier to find a thoughtful, listening southern European than a crazy Swede. Hence, look outside .SE